i'm not a sleeze.

i feel like a sleeze using this to get people over to my new blog but not too much of a sleeze to do it again hahahaha 

:)

http://withoutwordsofelegance.wordpress.com

NEWBIE!!!

haha i lied. i'm posting another one.

http://withoutwordsofelegance.wordpress.com

it's rather humerous. for all those who make trips to the library on a regular basis.

check it out!

NEW POST GUYS!!! well i've put up a couple but yeah...i think i'm gonna be making the switch officially to wordpress for everything now. i might check back occasionally but for the most part i'm stickin to wordpress. come find me! subscribe or whatever you wanna do!

here's the link! 

http://withoutwordsofelegance.wordpress.com

another one fo shizz!

it's another new one!!! it's really exciting too!!

http://withoutwordsofelegance.wordpress.com

it's a new one!

i've got a new post up on the new blog! check it out if you dare! if you don't well that's ok too i guess. there's even a link to subscribe if you wanna...here's the link.

http://withoutwordsofelegance.wordpress.com

5 MORE WEEKS TILL SUMMER!!!

BIG NEWS!

alright guys...i have some news for ya.

i have a new blog.

i am not leaving you.

i would never leave you.

but this new one is better.

i will still come to this one from time to time for a while but then i'll switch over completely.

you can even subscribe to my new one cause i made it so you can...that way you dont have to keep checking back.

i still have one more story i'm working on for you guys that i'm gonna put up here.

here's the new address for my new blog.

http://withoutwordsofelegance.wordpress.com

you can go there and subscribe and it would be fantastic!

tell your friends!

love ya'll!!

MK...i laughed out loud when i read this last night.

it's out of the book Blue Like Jazz and he's talking about deception as a child.

"I sinned only in bits at first--small lies, little inconsistencies to teachers about homework and that sort of thing. I learned the craft well, never looking my teacher in the eye, always speaking quickly, from the diaphragm, never feeble about the business of deception.

'Where is your homework?' my teacher would ask.

'I lost it.'

'You lost it yesterday. You lost it last week.'

'I am terrible about losing things. I need to learn.' (Always be self-deprecating.)

'What am I going to do with you, Donald?'

'I am grateful for your patience.' (Always be grateful.)

'I should call your mother.'

'She's deaf. Boating accident. Piranha.' (Always be dramatic. Use hand gestures.)"

quick trip home.

haha ok. so as some people know, last week over spring break i was sick for most of the week. well even though i didn't get to do everything i wanted/planned to do and see all the people i wanted to see my flight home was not at all boring. in fact it was probably one of the best flights i have ever had. it was epic.

everytime you fly you meet people...sometimes whether you want to or not, but you will always meet someone. you might not ever catch their name but for the duration of your flight they never quite seem to shut their mouths. now i'm a talkative person, i really am, but i never have been on an airplane which made this flight so much more enjoyable. i finally got on the plane...i was literally the last one to get on because they overbooked and i almost got 2 free roundtrip vouchers...but i didnt make the cut...still am disappointed bout that. REALLY disappointed...i had plans. 

*and i would just like to say this about that...i'm amazed at how long it takes for us to concock things in our brains. in the 33.2 seconds that i found out i could get 2 free roundtrip vouchers i had designated a purpose for both of them. just that quick. this is no lie. how many times do we make plans without even putting God in the mix and at least running it by him for his yea or nay? just a thought. mk back to the story.*

so i get on the plane hoping it will be a peaceful flight. not only was it peaceful but i had live on-board entertainment sitting in the seat right next to me. this lady was definately in her early 50's but she was nice and polite. she was headed to fayettville (i probably didn't spell that right but it's chill, whatever...the location is in NC). so after we take off and she gets out her "keep-me-occupied-kit" which contains a novel the size of my forearm on Mary Queen of Scotts and she has her trusty ipod and everything. we are not up in the air for 15 minutes and she decides she would like to sleep. well that's good news for me because i'm not a big fan of conversations on airplanes. but i was not at all prepared for what was about to happen next.

she rolled up her jacket like a normal person would, to lay against the window (for which i am also bitter about because it was actually my window seat but i wasn't going to make a scene in front of the whole plane) she put in her earbuds to her ipod and closed her eyes to go off to dreamland or wherever those of you in your 50's and up go when you sleep. I'd be makin' a run to taco bell during my mid-life crisis hahaha but that's just me and i'm sure my priorities will change slightly once i reach some maturity level. well that was nice. i was going to have the whole flight to myself. me, myself, and i. well about 20 minutes later, a movement in my peripherals grabbed my attention. it was odd because i was so focused on my sudoku at the time but i figured hey i need a little break so i looked up from my sudoku book and glanced over at my seat buddy. the ipod had gone into sleep mode. the ear-buds had fallen out of the lady's ears. a glimmer of light flashed quickly off the stream of drool coming out of the corner of her mouth. that was hilarious to see. not gonna lie. i worked so hard not to laugh out loud. then as i am watching her she starts to mover her mouth. i thought "oh THIS is going to be good." she starts moving her mouth in the forms of words and such things. but no sound was coming out. i was like "well maybe she's mute" but then i remembered how we exchanged a few polite words as i was getting in my seat so i ruled that one out. then i was like "well maybe she was spazzing out in her mouth." it seemed logical, but the more i watched and the more her mouth moved in specific shapes and such i realized that she was speaking to someone on the other side of those eye-lids. now she's just chatting away with herself...silently, and then she begins to add facial emotions into what she's saying...with her eyes closed. THE LADY WAS SLEEP TALKING MINUS THE SOUND!!!!!!!!! 

it was the funniest thing i had ever seen! and the mullet that she was sporting was the icing on the cake! i'm not gonna lie, i SO wanted to just sit there and face her and start moving my mouth at her like we were having a conversation so when the flight attendant walked by she would freak out because she would think she couldn't hear us. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA as all of THOSE thoughts started running through my head i knew i was about to cross the point of no return...but my "depth perception" was off and i had already crossed that point of no return. 

i began to laugh uncontrollably but it was one of those that you think you can suppress. so i start to laugh and so i close my mouth and just sit there. and then i begin to feel this sensation of my shoulders moving up and down up and down up and down and they were speeding up like they were getting ready to start an engine or something! they started going so fast that i'm pretty sure the people in the seats behind me thought i was having a seizure myself! this was not the case though. as my shoulders picked up speed i began to feel my whole upper body start to go with the flow and i began laughing so hard my seat began to shake. well this kept up for about 10 seconds or so until i ran out of air and had to take a deep breath so i was trying to be subtle about it, but you just cant be subtle with those kinds of things. not when you are in the middle of having the best ab workout ever. so instead of taking a nice calm deep breath. i take in this *GASP* that frightened the mullet lady and made her jump. which made me jump. which made the old man across the aisle from me look over with a look on his face that said "iiiiiii'm gonna need some more Depends." this is no lie. i kid you not. this is no exaggeration. 

after miss fayettville awoke from her beauty sleep with a jolt, she decided to go about everything like nothing had ever happened. like that drool line still wasn't glistening out of the corner of her mouth. like her ipod had never turned off. like mary queen of scotts never closed her cover. just like nothing ever happened. 

she didn't talk to me for the rest of the flight which i am grateful for because i don't think i could have sat there and had a decent conversation with the lady because the picture of a silent sleep-talking mullet lady would be pasted over her face and i dont think it would work out. 

haha that's the funny story i promised you guys. haha all 5 of my readers. but hey, seriously...go check out my new blog cause i think i'm going to be mostly using that one now...i will still check back every once in a while and maybe post a little something but most my stuff is going to be on my new blog now so check it out! tell your friends!

here it is.

http://withoutwordsofelegance.wordpress.com

there ya go! love you guys!

just a little beef..

SOOOOOOOoooooo....i'v got lots to tell yall!!!!

first of all...i didn't realize how homesick i was until i came home and then had to leave again...that was quite a shock just HOW much i missed kansas and the people that are there....even the ones i got to talk to just for a little bit and i miss you guys already.

second, i have decided to do something from now until i die. when i was in charlotte on my way back to kansas my flight ended up being delayed for quite a bit i ended up having 6 hours to kill. i didn't mind that because i could spend days in an airport just watching people. so as i was sitting in starbucks watching people noting which ones are chumps and which ones are probably the watcher for their local neighborhood watch program but there were another group of people. they would walk through the airport with a look of unsure apprehension (that's the best way i can describe it), almost despair on their faces as they walked through the airport. some would walk through, some would go through by wheelchair or crutches, some had a brand new family following them with their little girl clinging to her daddy's hand. they would walk through in small groups of two or three or even by themself (i saw many of these) and they all had that look on their face and would walk through the airport looking around as if they were looking for someone. and every single one of these guys had something in common. they were all wearing the uniform of a military branch. the people that were sacrificing more than most of us could even possibly imagine sacrificing, were walking through the airport looking for just a smile to say thank you yet people would purposefully avoid them. i am not making this up. this wasn't just something that happened to one person that was walking through, this was definately a pattern, people would avoid them and not even acknowledge them. there was not even the slightest smile given. now i know there were people that were in a hurry that were in their own little world trying to get to their gate before the plane left them but not everyone was in a hurry. there were even people that looked down their noses at these young men and women as they passed through concourse C. i sat there and watched this for about 15 minutes and i couldn't stand it anymore so i went up to three of these guys and thanked them for what they did and how i SO appreciated what they do and the sacrifice they make and that i loved 'em and praying for 'em, and their demeanor changed immediately. it was seriously like night and day. 

now i'm not saying that to say "looky what i did." cause i'm not a goody two shoes but im saying this because i am sick of the disrespect and snubbing that we (the american public) demonstrate to our men and women in the service. it doesn't matter where we are. in the airport, the grocery store, at church, shopping, in the gym...wherever you are, don't ignore them. don't walk by them like they have done nothing. who cares if you dont know them. they dont know you and they're fighting for you. they are your father, mother, brother, sister, daughter, son, cousin, uncle, aunt, friend, coworker, grandma, grandpa, brother in-law, sister in-law, son in-law, daughter in-law, fiance, boyfriend, girlfriend...these people are just like you and me. i don't care whether you support the reason that we are at war and where we're at war or whether you dont support it...these men and women dont have a choice or a say in where they go to protect to you and fight for you so why don't you just say thank you. it's the least you can do. next time you see someone in a uniform just go up to them and say thanks. even if it's out of your way, and you're already in line to checkout...i dare you to thank a soldier. once you do it you probably will keep doing it, and people learn by example so if they see you do that the chances of them thanking a soldier are greater.

after my trip i really felt like i needed to say that cause even our government isn't doing much to help them out...they are just helping them enough to get by..people on welfare are living better than some of the soldiers that come back home...this is not a lie. and dont get me started on the lack of care for veterans. democrats and republicans and independents and even the Nader-followers have seriously SERIOUSLY slacked off and done quite a sucky job taking care of these guys.

well that's my beef and i am SO glad i got that off my chest! that is not a lie. i promise there will be something more upbeat coming. TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!! ten things coming up on the next post!

have a good spring break for those who are enjoying one right now!

*ponder this for a sec*

Romans 12:1

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer you bodies as living sarifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your siritual act of worship."

happy st patty's day!!!

get excited.

ok people! exciting things!!!

1) i come home on friday!!

2) no more tests this week!! (i had four in two days)

3) no more homework this week!!

4) i am changing my major slightly!!

*instead of just Youth Ministry....i'm going with an interdisciplinary major w/ Youth Ministry and Print Media...and i am SO PUMPED about this newest development!!

5) i am going to get to have Chipotle and Taco Bell and Mi Ranchito and Chinese galore and lasagna and all of mom's cooking!!! MMMMMMM MMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMM

i. cannot. wait!!

6) i get to fly!!

*i will be blogging about this because i love to fly and can sit in an airport for hours and just watch people so i guaruntee i will blog about this.

7) did i mention i get to come home on friday!!

cheese cubes, cookies, and chucks.

so...i would just like to "share'' something with you about what has gone on this weekend, because i feel that i need to get it off my chest.

So it all started out on Friday morning when I was required to get up for an 8 oclock class. This wouldn't be so bad if there were other classes that I needed to attend that day, but nooooo...I just have one class on Friday...and it just so happens to be at 8 oclock in the morning. So to make it on time to class, I have to get up by 6ish so that I can prepare for the day etc. so now not only is my class early in the morning but I have to get up at the death hour just so I can make it to the class. Well I had no clue what the elements were like outside but when I walked out my door I was greeted by rain..yippee. Now I am not a hater of rain bu

t when I need to walk half a mile uphill in it...I am not as appreciative as I usually am...oh yeah, and usually there is a shuttle that runs from my dorm up to the classes but since I sorta kinda missed the shuttle I had to trec up the hill like I was climbing Everest or something. Well finally class got over and I went back to my room...in the rain...no big deal. I have detected a pattern here at NGU regarding Fridays. The place is deserted by 3 oclock every Friday...usually I have things to do or I have been out of town but this Friday I had no where to go so I decided to go walk around...in the rain...to see what I could see...be who I could be...maybe even climb a tree...that didn't work out so well. Well Friday was over. 

Hello Saturday. aturday was nice because I was notified that a certain package had arrived. And it was SO worth it! I aquired a brand new pair of Chuck Taylors. Yes. Yes I did. They are awesome/incredible. I would like to share them with you now. 

mmmmmmmmmm just look at those guys.

I cannot tell you how  many compliment I have recieved from them but they are scrumptious to lay your eyes on and feast. They are just that good.

So I recieved these shoes and attempted to study on Saturday. But really...who can study when they have a brand new pair of Chucks just staring at you. I believe I only read two sentences in my textbook the entire day...it sat opened on my bed the whole day but I just couldn't bring myself to read it. Instead I sat there all day and listened to Bob Marley and The Weepies and thought about how bad I wanted to go back to Jamaica...I would LOVE TO!!! ...haha if anyone wants to send me I would go in a heart beat. I miss the people that I got to work with...the kids, the teachers, the people at the infermary, and I just miss the sound of the ocean in the background. So I just sat there all day and wished. Then I debuted my chucks when I went to go get some food for din din. People were in awe...they literally collapsed because they couldn't breathe just because the Chucks take people's breath away. They can't help it that they're beautiful hahaha. So I sat in my room...eating a chicken and cheese quesedilla with veggies and watched some good ol' youtube...and then concluded with a Pirate's movie.

Sunday!!! Sunday!!! Alright, this is where this post get's good. Day three of the weekend and it is still raining continuously. Seriously..there had not been a break the whole weekend. So I go to church in the morning..it was incredibly excellente. Then I sat and watched the rain. Well, my friend invited me to go to church with her that night so I said I would go. So while we are in church it starts to snow...this is no lie..it actually snowed. No I am not pulling your leg...why would I ever do something like that...haha well anyways it did start to snow. When we walked out of church the snow was still falling..and it was the good kind of snow..the kind that you can just old in your hand and it will turn itself into a snowball. But there was not a whole lot of it. But you would have thought we were all going to die, but the way that people were acting/reacting. I have never seen so many people at the same time rush to the grocery store to buy bread and milk. I am not exaggerating. You would have thought that Dooms Day was upon us. People running around with sign that say THE END IS NEAR but the word near was crossed out and had HERE written in red ink above it. These people were going crazy..it was only 7 oclock and the city shut down. We tried to go to two different Taco Bell's and they both rejected us. I cannot even begin to describe to you the pain and hurt I felt inside as a result of getting rejected by TB. "I haven't had you since January 11th and you treat me this way!!!" *ahem* Anyways, so we went to the next best place...haha kinda...WAFFLE HOUSE!!!! Yes. I ate breakfast for dinner and thouroghly enjoyed it. So while at Waffle House I recieved a phone call that stated that school had been cancelled for Monday. Well I cannot express the joy i felt about that bit of information so I decided to celebrate by going to Wal-Mart and purchacing my very own loaf of bread and gallon of milk. I was disappointed in the selection though when we arrived at Wal-Mart I settled for a two pound bag of cheese cubes and Chewy Chips Ahoy Chocolate Chip Cookies!!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. tastey.

So all that to say...I had a snow day today...for a half an inch of snow which was completely melted by 11 oclock this morning. What did I do for my day off school? Go on ask. I'll wait. Ask me. 

...laundry.

here's a quote that I read last night from John Piper's book "Don't Waste Your Life" that I wanted to share with you guys...and on top of that it's a book that I recommend for you to read if you have not done so. If you have..read it again.

"[Civilians] love to hear of the triumhs of the troops. The dream about the day when war will be no more. So it is with Christians. All of us should dream abou tthis. We should love to hear how the advance of King Jesus is faring. We should love to hear of gospel triumphs as Christ plants his church among peoples held for centuries by alien powers of darkness.  This is God's design in world history--that people form all nations and tribes and languages come to worship and treasure Christ above all things."

love you guys.

it's your monkey.

well i hope you checked out that song from a couple posts ago. seriously. if you haven't go do it. 

mk. this is a passage that i would like to anotate for you all just cause i read it today and thought "oh i'll anotate that for my peeps" (all 5 of you)

i'm just gonna move verse by verse and throw in my two cents (it's a good thing its just my two cents cause i'm just a college kid..i'm not millionare or bad government that can throw other peoples money at whatever i want to--that was a jab at all politics and politicians not just the current party/party-poopers call em what you will)

mk. here goes.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:"

*i am still learning to diffrentiate between the right and wrong time. for real*

"a time to be born and a time to die"

*i'm gonna be around till i'm 134...cien treite y cuatro...thats 134 in spanish..just thought i'd sho you my skillz*

"a time to plant and a time to uproot"

*plant me some CORN COB!!! baha i'm just kidding, not a huge fan of corn...if you must know why you may ask me*

"a time to kill and a time to heal"

*see i keep trying to tell my professors it's right there in the Bible...kill time...i do i do i do..pray for them*

"a time to tear down and a time to build"

*i hope that means a house because i'm no fan of criticism...actually i like it alot but i'd prefer you tear down a house than me baha...unless it's "constructive"...but we're all like that i suppose*

"a time to weep and a time to laugh"

*i must confess...i try to do as little of the first as possible, but i can never get tired of the second one...i make myself laugh. that's right i laugh at my own jokes...but in my defencse i only laugh if something's funny*

"a time to mourn and a time to dance"

*haha nope not gonna do it. there will be no room for that last one if you are partial to the southern baptist way...just go ahead and throw that one out the window...*

"a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them"

*yaya...don't throw rocks at girls, i know*

"a time to embrace and a time to refrain"

*yes when the individual starts gasping for life giving air and can no longer breathe it might be time for you to start considering refraining from the embrace you are in*

"a time to search and a time to give up"

*even if you "KNOW" where you put it ladies...just give it up. hand it over to the Lord*

"a time to keep and time to throw away"

*packrats, that's God's shout out to you*

"a time to tear and a time to mend"

*guys if you were in boy scouts you should be able to do both...and no guys he is not talking about breakin' wind on that first one*

"a time to be silent and a time to speak"

*not gonna lie..i like my "me" time. seriously. i love to hear myself talk. and to all my friends there will be a haUUUUUGGGGEEE crown up in heaven for you listen to my big mouth*

"a time to love and time to hate"

*"so what the world needs now is love, sweet love. it's the only thing that there's just too little of"*

"a time for war and a time for peace"

* FOR REALS PEOPLE!!!*

so here's the kicker for all that and its found in the same chapter verses 19 and 20

"Man's fate is like that of the animals; that same fate awaits the both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath; man has no advantage over the animal. Everything is meaningless. All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return."

um. that kindof puts me in my place when i read that. especially the "everything is meaningless" part. with all this "time" for things, how are you going to be living? Are you living like it's your last day? Are you living so that when everything is said and done and you are standing before the King, the Creator of the Universe and everything in it, when you are on your face before His throne, will you hear "Well done, my good and faithful servant"? daily i struggle and fight and push back against living a life that is pleasing to God. daily i have to make a decision to be content with what i have, deal with my pride (not a fan of this one), and give God TOTAL control of my life. 

God does so many incredible things when you totally surrender your life to him and give him control. seriously. yes it's storytime with joey. it'll be quick though. i promise.

spring break was 3 weeks out and mom bought my plane ticket to fly home. i am in Greenville, SC and i was going to be flying out of Charlotte which is about a hour and forty five minutes from where i am. we did this because the flight was cheaper...and i had family that lives across the stateline and was going to be able to come down and pick me up and take me to the airport. well things happened that were no one's fault...it was just life...and the people that werent going to be available to come pick me up to take me to the airport up in Charlotte. well it's funny how God puts you in these situations just so that He will be the only one that gets any glory from it. i was now wondering what was gonna happen, we couldnt change the flight or the flight times cause that would cost an arm and a leg and i am partial to all 4 of mine so i needed to find a ride. well my mom made a phone call and the person that she talked to said "why don't you just send out a mass email to the student body to see if anyone could give you a ride." i am not joking. i was very doubtfull about the whole thing really. i am new here. i am from kansas. there arent a whole lot of people that know me. and there probably arent a whole lot of people that would be willing to give someone a ride to the airport that they had absolutely no idea who they were. lets be honest. would you? i'm still wondering if i would have given me a ride.

well i stepped out in faith anyway and sent out a mass email to the student body and explained (in fewer words than what i just told you) my situation and asked if someone would be willing to give me a ride. within 5 minutes i started getting reply after reply after reply of offers to take me up to the airport in Charlotte. not only did i recieve offers from people that were going home to Charlotte to give me a ride up but i recieved offers from people that were headed the total opposited direction of Charlotte that said they would be willing to give me a ride if i couldnt find one. guys keep in mind that it's a hour and 45 minute drive from here. i was SO overwhelmed by the support and offers and love that was displayed to me and literally was shocked and dumbfounded that so many people wanted to help the kansas kid get home. guys, only somthing as BIG as GOD can do somthing like that! and needless to say i now have a ride to the airport. God is so good!

there are so many things that we are unsure of. so are you willing to put it all on the line for Him? are you willing to say here i am? are you "comfortable with being uncomfortable" ( quote from Perry Noble)? God does incredible things when you wholly surrender, and seeing what the verses say, we all have a time to die, and after that it's done, there are no second chances, no get-out-of-jail-free cards, nothing...what are you going to do? how are you going to live from here on out? the monkey's on your back now. love ya! 

thankyaboys.

well folks i'd just like to say a cupulla thangs. haha first i would like to let you know that i do know how to spell it's just easier when you make words run together. glad that we're now on the same page. 

mk. now i would like to say thanks. for the longest time (great song by the way) i've been doing this blog and really wasnt expecting anyone to read it. no joke. like i'm pretty sure in one of the posts before this one i gave a shout-out *HOLLA* to the three people that read this. seriously. that is no lie. but especially these past two weeks i have quickly been overwhelmed with the response of people that read this thing. i know i sound surprised and i am. haha i don't know why you would just sit there and read this. haha well i guess i can cause i'm the one just sittin' here typing it. hahaha i really do have a life i promise. but i digress. i have been told of people that i haven't even really talked to before that say they read this thing regularly. even people i've never even talked to in my life. fo rizzle home skillet. so i do just want to say thanks for the love. i'll try to be a little more consistant in this relationship. haha but it does take two to make it work. just thought i'd throw that out there. i'm takin' intro to counseling this semester and just thought i'd try it out...don't judge me on the first session. but i guess i'm just tryin' to say thanks. now read the next post cause it's good.

how he loves.

mk. this song has been going thru my mind since like probably 3 weeks ago. so i am going to share it with you.

How He Loves

by: John Mark McMillian

He is jealous for me.

Loves like a hurricane,

I am a tree,

bending beneath

the weight of His wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden

I am unaware of these

afflictions eclipsed by glory

And I realize just how beautiful You are

And how great Your affections are for me.

Oh, how He loves us so.

Oh, how He loves us.

How He loves us so.

Yeah, He loves us,

Oh, how He loves us,

Oh, how He loves us,

Oh, how He loves!

We are His portion,

And He is our prize.

Drawn to redemption by

The grace in His eyes

If grace is an ocean we're all sinking.

So heaven meets earth

Like a sloppy wet kiss,

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest.

I don't have time to maintian these regrets,

When I think about the way...

I personally like the version of Kim Walker singing it but John Mark's version is just as good. actually just listen to em both. just do it alright? i'll help you out. i'm just tagging the kim walker version but both are good. How He Loves. just turn up the volume close your eyes and just listen to the whole thing strait thru. no interruptions. i mean turn it up LOUD.

on another note GOOD NEWS for those who are wondering i now have full use of my legs again after gym night last week. it was a struggle to regain function but after falling out of bed the morning after i decided i was not going to do that again so in turn i learned to walk again. my face is eternally grateful for that decision.

THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS IT'S BACK!!!!!

(my 10 things list)

...baha at least for this post...

10 words that make me smile/laugh when i hear them uttered.

1. shinnanigans

2. Gilly

3. booger

4. blapharospasm

5. talons

6. jowels

7. scotch

8. Lassie

9. VIVA

10. bow-tie

pure awesomeness.

alright. i promised that i would blog about my moment in the gymnasium of working out. so let me just "share" with you.

so i prepared myself to go up there...you know do some pre-workout yoga..stuff. as you can tell i am a seasoned workoutter....haha ok maybe not but the gym definately smelled like it had been seasoned with amonia. now i'm no rocket scientist but i do believe the fumes of amonia are hazardous to your health. but amonia was the least of my worries. 

i go in there and it's a cute little gym...actually it is a bit intimidating...and i head strait to the treadmill. "brilliant" i thought to myself, "something that i might be able to do and look good at" because i am so concerned for my "physical wellness" (what does that even mean anyway...just call it PE!!)--please my physical wellness goes like this:

"well it looks like i can lift that taco up to my mouth without straining myself."

so anyways. i get on this treadmill and i was soon to find out that the amonia smell was the least of my worries. a guy who was walkin' around the place like he was all that and a bag of chips...like he owned the place...gets on the treadmill next to me. the shere intensity of the AXE body spray that he had BATHED in almost knocked me off the treadmill. i had to run for 35 minutes holding my breath thanks to mr. hunk-o-cheese. well anyway so i'm running and the cheeseman is running next to me and he starts pushing all these buttons AND THEN THE TREADMILL STARTED TO RAISE UP LIKE SOMETHING IN A SCI-FI but the back end stayed down. DID YOU KNOW THEY COULD SIMULATE INCLINES IN A STATIONARY MANNER!!!!! genious. well i couldn't help that my brain started working overtime and that guy began to look more and more like the yodler climing up the mountain on The Price Is Right. and i did my best to control myself because i'm not the best at multi-tasking and i was on a stationary-moving treadmill belt so to laugh would no doubt mean a broken nose and maybe a few missing limbs...haha maybe even my face (you just never know with those kinds of situations). well it was at the point where i thought i had gotten myself under control when the Big Cheese looks at me and gives me the head toss back gesture as to say "check me out. pure awesomeness" but as he did that i still had the little yodler in my mind and i almost lost it. well praise God that the dude saw a lady on the bicycle so he left and i could continue enduring unneccessary pain. 

after seeing "the man" make his treadmill go up and down...i decided i wanted to do that. fail. it went up and i continued--no matter how hard i was running--to gradually move down to the bottom of the treadmill. i figured i had had my fun w/ the incline mechanism and i was not going to let it take my life so lowered said treadmill and kept on chuggaluggin' along. 

well thank God that was over! after not really donig any physical excercise for 6 months or so, the toll it takes on you is GINORMOUS!!!! rediculous to say the least. i mean really. whose idea was it to have PE in college anyways!?! dumb dumbs!!! didn't they know that i don't do that kinda stuff anymore!?! well needless to say i survived. if i didn't i would not be blogging this to you. but i will say that i think God sent me a sign tonight. when i was walking back to my room there was lightning everywhere and i just feel that that was God saying i don't need to go back and do that anymore cause i paid my dues. i might be reading into the weather a little more than i probably should but hey whatever gets me outta PE i'm for it. baha.

i'm not a hater, so i'm not hating on PE, or the PE coach, or even the gym in which i had to go fulfill my duty as a student of PE class...but i don't so much appreciate recieveing a grade for my performance in PEE!!! haha buuuuutt i survived and i will probably go back again to show that CHEESE MEISER who's BOSS!!!!

Jesus Loves You!!! :)

waddaya want me to do 'bout it?

So many times I have asked this question. It may not be politically correct, it might not even be good enough to qualify as politically INcorrect but I do, I ask this question so many times. Just like a kid walking through the grocery store and walking by the candy aisle…all you hear is “Can I get some? Can I get some? Can I get some? I’ll let you have some of mine. Can I get some? Huh? Huh?” 

I employ this question to get out of things and crucial conjunctions such as making decisions for other people about what flavor to start with first while eating a Bomb Pop, or when asked why I don’t do dope and how I’ve ruined their lives cause I didn’t use or abuse or have any on me to donate to their cause I just belt out, “Weeelll waddaya want me to do ‘bout it?”

            Lately the tables have turned. Not with my doper friend or with the indecisive Popsicle eater but with one who is much bigger than me, much stronger than me (cause we all know I hate to work out in the first place), and one that is more powerful than me (BAHAHA—that’s a given). I have been finding myself getting myself into spots—spots I could have easily avoided getting into mind you—and then taking my problem to God and in a whiney nasally voice complaining, “fix it,” and God answers “Weeelll waddaya want me to do ‘bout it?”

            To be quite honest, I wonder if He ever feels like the maid: “I just cleaned up this mess. Can you not just keep it clean for 10 MINUTES?” (a reference to The Incredibles and still valid). I do things like get on my Mac first thing when I get up before I talk to God, maybe even think about Him, or I let something like fear take over and control me and how my systems operate rather than let Him be in control. All these things are completely avoidable yet I still, continuously—like a lemming following itself—keep putting myself into this position of being screwed (I’m not a very politically correct person) and I want God to fix everything and I just want to sit back and watch.

            There is a problem with that mindset. You’re not the brightest crayon in the box if you think that God is just gonna fix something and not expect you to contribute anything (like putting forth an effort to change your behavior). Yes He loves you but if you are a parent or want to be a parent, would you let your child take a ball bat to the urn holding Grandma Edna’s ashes or to break a window in the neighbor’s house and not expect them to work for some compensation—even if it was an accident? No, you would want to instill in your child a sense of responsibility (otherwise they turn out to be 3^rd in line for president and asking for 200 billion dollars of taxpayer money in condoms to educate children). Please ignore that which was in the parentheses because I was just venting. Back to the subject though, there is a responsibility that we need to take as Christians. We definitely don’t have a free ride. We are to be examples to the world. What kind of example is a whiney 20 year-old telling someone else to clean up after them. It’s called not being apathetic. Something that the Christians today are not doing a very good job with—myself being the ringleader!

            I have found myself to just sit back and expect God to do things, which he does no doubt about it! Bahaha HE DOESN’T NEED JOEY CALDWELL TO ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING THAT HE WANTS TO DO! But how we are called to “GO” and make disciples, and “BE” examples and if God’s gonna be doing all these amazing things through people, HOW MUCH MORE INCREDIBLE WOULD IT BE FOR GOD TO USE YOU AND ME TO ACCOMPLISH HIS WILL!!!! Now again God doesn’t need our permission to do anything but is your heart willing? As someone that leads worship occasionally I would rather have someone who’s heart is in it and has that passion and heart of worship, then someone with the talent but no display that He is Lord in their life. God’s really been working on my heart and continually pointing out my apathy and I am striving that God would take away my apathy and that I would be willing and comfortable to be uncomfortable.

            Are you comfortable with being uncomfortable? I am praying that God would break my heart and my apathy and that I would be wholly obedient and on fire and willing to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. How ‘bout you?

JON FOREMAN ROCKS MY SOCKS OFF!!!

*in my arms

*baptize my mind

*your love is strong

*behind your eyes

*lord, save me from myself

*the cure for pain

AND MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

did you mess yourself?

Boy! I can't even begin to tell yall all the stories and life lesson's I learned this weekend so if you really wanna know ask. But i do have something to fill yall in on.

So the past couple weeks I have really been stressin' out. I mean REALLY stressin'. It all began two Saturdays ago when I totally put my focus and attention on something other than God and it just started to snowball. The minute I took my eyes off God, the little red man (and no i'm not talking about santa clause) started to plant little fear seeds in me. They were really REALLY small at first and I didn't think much about them but they quickly started controling my life. I mean these things got WAAYYYYY OUT OF HAND. They started to take control and weigh me down..literally and figuratively. It eventually reached a point where I was really wondering if I was saved or not. And on Wednesday last week I hit a BRICK WALL. On Wednesday the chapel speaker "coincidently" (which is another way of sayin' it was all God's plan) spoke on assurance of salvation and the LOVE of God. He specifically talked to the people that were strugglin' with their salvation. I felt like I was the only on in the room that was dealing with this but God was definately workin' on my heart.

After the chapel service I husseled myself back to my room. It was 30 degrees and my room was a half mile down the hill from the chapel and needless to say i didn't stop for anyone or anything. I got in my room and I immediately hit the floor. Seriously. I honestly felt like ther was a ton of bricks on my back. And I just cried out to God. I didn't know what the deal was at the time but whatever it was I wanted God to fix it. And God just flashed the word "fear" in front of my eyes. And I knew what I had to do. I just started making a list of all the fears I let take over my life especially in the past week and a half. These were some of the ones listed:

*fear of rejection/failure/disappointment

- from my friends, family,  and God

*fear that God might not be there for me

*fear that I might not even be saved.

I became so fearful of rejection that I didn't call my family for almost 2 and a half weeks, I totally tried to avoid all contact with my friends here at school and away I was seriously letting it CONTROL my life. As I kept listing out all these fears I was dealing with I felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. Well needless to say I had a "come to Jesus" till my next class and I got some things straitened out. The next night was BSU and it was the last message for a series called, Fear to Faith (how appropriate right?). During the music, in between songs, a girl got up to give her testimony. I had only met her once there before and there was no way she'd remember me. Well her testimony was about how fear took over her life and how God brought her through it. And then she said, "I don't know who was supposed to hear this tonight, but if it's you, God will bring you out of all this but you have to take the first step and cry for help, and He will build the bridge to come across and get you." God knew I needed encouragement and that was the perfect thing! 

It blows my mind that God knew all this was going to happen to me. Not only did He know it was going to happen to me, He PLANNED for it to happen to me. As soon as I took my eyes of Jesus, just like Peter walking on water, I began to sink and I was sinkin' to the bottom fast! And God let it get to the point where He was the only one that could pull me out. And when that point came He didn't fail. He was faithful and pulled my out of the waves and breakers that were pummeling me. And then after that, He gave me a huge dose of encouragement at BSU the next day after things were straitened out and refocused. He thinks of everything! He know's intimately each and every person and what it takes to get that individual back on track. And He does it all to help us to grow closer and more intimate and to strengthen our Love for Him. There's no way I would have been able to get out of the mess I was in cause I was in it with myself! I. messed. my. self. I continually thank God for his forgiveness and mercy. Just like the girl that gave her testimony at BSU, I have no clue who needed/needs to read this but if it's you, I'm here to tell ya that "He who promised is faithful" and He will pull you out/build that bridge for you to cross over, but you have to be willing to admit that you messed yourself and cry out to Him.

I love yall and I have tons more to fill you guys in on!

p.s. i might try to work on my fear of clowns cause the circus is in town...hmmmm i'm thinking about it. i just need someone to go with so i don't SERIOUSLY mess myself.

Hebrews 10:23

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful."

nearer

I would run from You

Still You called me to be yours

Your grace and your mercy

Overwhelmed me.

And in the stillness of this moment

Give me faith like a child

Draw me nearer to Your heart,

Near to Your heart,

Immerse me in, Your righteousness

Your steadfast love,

Break me and make me a new creature in you

And see that my heart is yours.

You said, "Come to me,

All you who are weary

And burdened,

And I'll give you rest."

So I come humbly before You,

Unworthy of this gift

Yet you draw me ever nearer,

Near to Your heart.

The sacrifice of Your Son,

Of You, oh God

Brings me to my knees.

A matchless love

That was displayed upon that cross

Creates a new song in my heart

Draw me nearer, nearer blessed Lord

To the cross where Thou hast died

Draw me nearer, nearer blessed Lord

To thyself now glorified 

Matthew 11:28

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

careful when you say "no way jose"

ok ok ok ok!!! i must tell this story because it is killing me!!! and if we can't laugh at ourselves then what kind of sense of humor do we got? YOU DON'T HAVE ONE IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT YOURSELF!!! haha ok so here it goes..brace yourself!!!

so i arrive down here in the good ol' South and i'm chillin and minding my own beeswax. i had been down here just only about an hour since madre and fasha left and i went to go meet some friends that i hadn't seen yet. well while we were hangin' out and things and they were showing me around the campus they asked me if i wanted to ride with them over to their dorm to help them move some stuff in. i said "sure!" they said great! and while we were in the car they asked me if i liked rap music cause they love to listen to it and make fun of it and so on--and they like to do this so that the entire world knows that they are listening to rap music. well i said "no" of course because i'm not a big fan and they just cracked a joke and they just listened to something else while we drove the two minutes to their dorm. 

well there is no way that you will ever be able to tell me that God doesn't have a sense of humor! the next day i am walking to class and i pass this black guy who drives this brand new BMW. no joke. brand spankin' new! i mean it was nice! it was a silver 325 for those who wanted to know.....i'm sorry i digress..so this dude asks me if i want a ride (because i literally have a half mile hike uphill to get to my class from my dorm) and so i was like "if you're offerin'" he said he was so i made my way over and we introduced ourselves and we got in the car. now pause for a moment and look at the above picture. just look at it. notice the glasses, and the striped sweater hoodie, the shifty eyes, and i was wearing some skinny jeans and my trusty chuck taylors, and my messenger bag. now just imagine that for a second. the pictures above will help you out.

now imagine that geek-looking/dork getting into this vehicle.

haha..ok now imagine me being in this car w/ a black dude that could rip my head off if he wanted to just for fun. yeah...is it becoming ever clearer for yall? haha just wait it gets better. if your in a brotha's car the brotha's seats are gonna be in a back position...so "back" you almost upside down. now imagine me not thinking about this at all and just glad someone spoke to me that i plop myself right down in the seat and literally fall backwards flailing my arms cause i was not prepared for the backward dropoff. well i got over that and the guy was real gracious he didn't laugh at my face...instead he turned his head to the side and cracked up...but it wasn't audible. no, you could just see his shoulders rapidly moving up and down like he was hyperventalating. well after we got past that he started her up and we just sat there and listened to her purr for a while...not gonna lie...it was nice.

are you getting anxious yet? or is that picture enough...well i'll finish my story cause it's where it get's good. so we pull out of the dorm parking lot and we start going up the street and we carried on some polite small talk and stuff till we got to the entrance of the school and that's when things got interesting. as we pull into the drive he turned on his music...alright it was rap. now it wasn't just any rap. no it was like "get the beep beep beep on the beep beep beep before i slap the beep off your beep" (something like that) and this stuff was going full blast!!!!!!!! i mean it was so loud that if you were within a mile of the car you'd feel the bass vibrating through the ground...the indians would be confused and think it was herd of buffalo coming...that's how loud it was. ok, still no worries i thought...the windows are tinted dark we'll just cruise up to the parking lot and we will just go our separate ways. is that what God had in mind...no not at all...no He decided that he was gonna make it 65 degrees that day so this guy would wanna roll down his windows. so now let me just clarify this picture for you.

*i, dressed/looking like a dork (because i am one) am asked by a black dude if i wanna ride in his beamer to class. i say yes. he says hop in. i says okee dokee and almost throw my back out not trying to fall back in his seats. he laughs at me. we get over it and we drive. nice chit chat. "oh look, the parking lot, i wanna listen to music now." "what i can't hear you because my brains have vibrated out of my head thanks to the bass in the back." "oh it's a really nice day, i'm gonna roll down my windows." dork who is ashamed to be listening to this "music" is now in plain view of all who pass by.*

are we caught up? good. well not only do the windows go down but people have jus gotten out of class and it was the middle of passing period, in the middle of campus. so this dude drives up this lane that's full, and we are talking full, of students walking up it and he chooses to drive right down the middle of it in between the students. as the car goes by this is what they see. a brotha that could rip my head off drivin' this super nice BMW blastin the bass to a genre that i despise, and there is a dork in his glasses and hoodie clutching w/ white knuckles his messenger bag in the passenger seat with his window down. "mr. i hate rap" has just become the poster child. and God is just sittin up there watchin all this like it's a three's company rerun  or something, just cracking up i'm sure because this guy that said "no way" has just been turned into a "yes way" and is terrified at the fact. and not only was God laughing cause i saw first hand the students that we passed trying to suppress their laughter. and then i realized what it looked like and i started to laugh and this dude just couldn't see what was so funny but i find it hilarious hahahahahahahahahaha.....no seriously...i don't think i did this story justice at all, it is just one of those things that you could only find in a tim conway movie or something. it cracks me up everytime i think about it. boy does God have a sense of humor! 

just be careful about what you say you don't like, or you "won't" do, or what is lame, cause God will definately have something up His sleeve and chances are He's gonna be laughin' like he was watchin' and episode of Hee Haw. well that's all i got for ya tonight. hope you enjoyed. if you still didn't follow the story just call me..i can explain it better speaking...hahaha peace out guys!!!! i got some good stuff coming up!! get excited!!!

10 Song's that need to be listened to

1) You Are Good - Gateway Worship

2) Save Me - Gateway Worship

3) Beautiful - Gateway Worship

4) Just Blue - The Weepies

5) All This Beauty - The Weepies

6) In My Arms - Jon Foreman

7) True Colors - Phil Collins (you didn't think i would make this list w/o some phil did ya)

8) Is It Love - Mr. Mister

9) Human - The Killers ( i don't care if it's overplayed...it's just that good)

10) Love Me Like the World is Ending - Ben Lee

"I've covered every bit of it"

So I have been really convicted these past couple of weeks and it definately showed this Thursday night. I feel that I have been very stagnant in my walk...I know we all have been there but the problem was that I "didn't feel like doing anything about it at the time." Basically I was saying I'll do this on my own time (not even thinking that I might not have time) and shoving God off to the side. I didn't have time...I had just moved to South Carolina for school, I was trying to get in a routine for classes and such, I had to meet people, I had to do this, I had to do that and I wasn't even remotely thinking that I was leaving something out..GOD!!! I got so caught up in "my life" that I had no desire to work on my spiritual walk with the God that had given me a life in the first place. He had loved me so much that He personally came down to earth and sacrificed himself for my life. My sin forged the nails that pinned Him to a splintered, dirty, rugged cross and this was the God that I was pushing to the side to make room for me.

Well Thursday my friend invited me to go to BSU with her and so I did. I wasn't sure what to expect, infact I wasn't even sure what BSU was...I'm not the best with acronyms and I just didn't know what it was. There was music and a "sermon" except it wasn't really a sermon because it was on a more intimate level. Well towards the end of the music, someone who I had no clue who they were, sang a song that boy did I know...and not only did I know it, I had used it in a worship service before. It was called 'At the Cross' and the minute I heard it start I knew exactly what it was and my heart just sank and then ended up in my throat (which I SOO don't know how that happened because sinking and going up in my throat are two different directions but it happened...it was just that feeling of conviction) when this person started singing the words...

Oh Lord You've searched me

You know my way

Even when I fail You

I know you love me

Your holy presence

Surrounding me

In every season

I know You love me

I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee

Where Your blood was shed for me

There's no greater love than this

You have overcome the grave

Your glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now

You go before me

You shield my way

Your hand upholds me

I know you love me

You tore the veil

You made a way

When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades

Falls from my eyes

And You stand before me

I know You love me

I know You love me

...at that moment I was so convicted about how I had been putting God off, basically sayin' shove off I got this covered, when in reality I was nothing without Him in my life. He sacrificed for me, His passion was so great not just in His love for me but in His suffering and I put Him on the backburner. I just basically broke down at that point and started to cry...there was nothing else I think my body was able to do...I realized I was snubbing God for me...it's kinda hard for me to type this right now cause my eyes are getting blurred thinking about it, but God put it on my heart to tell yall..I don't know why, maybe one of you is struggling with this too.

The thing that got me most about this song is that at the end of every phrase it says "I know You love me." Through all of that God still loved me! Through my being a butt-face and arrogant kid (the kind that maybe makes you want to punt something) God's love for me didn't change. The creator of the universe chose to love a small insignificant thing called Joey and that is so overwhelming. A chapel speaker said this week "God only stooped twice in the whole Bible...once when He humbled himself to become man, but the only other time he stooped down was to breathe the breath of life into man." That's so humbling, that God was so intimate and personal in giving me life, and yet so many times I fail and stumble and run the total opposite direction and when I can't run anymore and I turn around to look at the mess I've made He's standing there with open arms saying "I've covered every bit of it." His love cover's a multitude of sins and His heart of forgiveness is overflowing. I could go on and on and on and on and on and on but I think you should go listen to the song..I have it the title of the song linked so all you got to do is click. Can you think of any better place to be than in His arms? I can't.

they're up!

alright yall..here's some pics that i have gathered for your enjoyment.

this first one pretty much says it all. we are in the foothills of the blue mountains. the entire campus sits on top of a hill and it's really REALLY compact.

this  is the prayer garden that is kinda hard to find, and you don't really even know it's there.  at the bottom right of the pic is a pond and there are some big goldfish in it.

this is my dorm room, it's pretty much self explainitory, coming from kansas there's not a whole lot you can take down with you the first trip..

haha and this was a fountain that they left running. hahaha i guess they didn't think that it could get below freezing up here haha (neither did i but i'm not the one that left the fountain running now am i..) haha. it really cracks me up. it's like the campus has it's own "tourist attraction" for the students.

So those are the pics that i promised to put up. and i got some other things to say but i'll have to do that after i do my reading and homework...booooooooo homework! haha :)