Friday, December 5, 2008

tis the season part 1

soooo as everyone has been reminded time and time again before 3 am on black friday that this is the wonderful holiday season. the season where everyone puts on their happy faces while rushing through the malls and department stores shoving people out of the way. the season of smashing old feeble ladies into the clothes rack while sprinting towards the blenders. tis the season to trample store employees and those that are dressed in santa clause hats spreading good cheer from what is now a seated position in a chair that has wheels and is mobile. tis the season to cut in check-out lines by acting like you know someone that you really only met at a friends house who you have no affiliation with whatsoever. tis the season to wait in those checkout lines for hours. tis the season to lose sight of what is really important. 

i would just like to share a story with you in this multiple part dealeo. i have never been a part of the black friday madness. i feel like, if a woman finds pleasure in injuring someone else so that person can't get the last jello-jiggler forms then I WANT NO PART of it. the fact that some women don't even sleep the night before and have their tazors and mace in hand lest anyone tries to cut them in line while they are camped outside the store. what really scares me is the possessed look that they get when they see those sale ads start rolling in the monday before thanksgiving. these are just personal opinions and views of the madness but i would say that they are pretty consistent in most men/males/boys/immature ninnies (whichever you prefer). i just wanted to clarify for what i am about to spill.

so my madre wanted to go get towels for me on black friday because i'm moving to south carolina for school in january and i need towels..haha well actually i need just about everything but towels i figure is as good a place to start as any. soooo she ran in and told me to get ready and we went to kohls on black friday 10 minutes before the sale ended. i was freaking out. i seriously was. i suppressed it but inside i was flipping out! you have no idea (or maybe you do) what it does to a guy to see a store full of women with frazzled hair, bloodshot eyes, and white knuckles ready to get in the ring with anyone that even attempted to ask a questions such as "hey where did you find those socks?" for a single guy that kinda freaks me out just a tad. *i would like to take this opportunity to say to all the married men that are dragged out on this dreaded day by their wives RUN!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!! i saw your faces and they were not happy! YOU WERE NOT HAPPY PEOPLE!!! PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!!! and please keep a leash on the individual dragged you there so they are not attacking other customers, it would do us all a HUGE favor.* so anyway, we retrieved the towels and started standing in line to checkout. i looked left. i looked right. i read all the labels of the merchandise that was next to me. 2 minutes had passed. i looked up. i leaned out to see the length of the line. i made funny faces to the little baby behind us. 5 minutes had passed. needless to say we were not moving very quickly and my attention span had maxed out at 5 minutes. well after a half hour we were now standing across the suitcase aisle. there were some asian speaking individuals looking at the suitcases rattling somthing off in their native tongue and zipping and unzipping the same suitcase for 10 minutes. i turned to look at something that was next to me and then when i turned back, one of the aisian suitcase shoppers was missing. it was grandma. she had disappeared from the suitcase aisle. i began to become very worried--more for my personal safety. about 3 minutes later i saw people begin to move to both sides  of what used to be the line and then stared towards my direction. it was like moses parting the red sea. as the parting lines seemed to become closer to me, i saw a gray head of hair about 5 ft tall bobbing up and down moving in my direction. RED LIGHTS BEGAN TO GO OFF IN MY BRAIN!!! COULD THIS BE GRANDMA!!!! IT WAS GRANDMA HEADED FOR THE SUITCASES!!! she was like a fish swimming up stream. instead of walking up along the checkout line and then just politely asking to cut through to the suitcases SHE SHOVED HER WAY ALL THE WAY UP THE LINE UNTIL SHE SAW THE SUITCASES!!! i was freaking out; number one because grandma was no where to be found, number two because something was moving towards me at a brisk pace through a line of people, and number three because i was worried that i might have breathed wrong on one of the suitcases and they were coming for me. well good news she cut out of the line right before she came to me but i was flippin out! how could so many people be so possessed in such a consetrated area for a suitcase, or blender, or towels, or anything!?! 

we finally checked out and i went home and immediately set up an appointment with my therapist...haha i'm just kiddin about that but i was definately in shock. how can so many people lose sight of what Christmas is all about. it's not about the getting it's about the giving. God gave us the most precious gift in the world! and He didn't have to put up with black friday to get it either. i know some of the other side of the argument from you ladies, and i took that into consideration but the fact is that when you are possesed by satan himself till sales are over there's a disconnect there that needs to be checked out. mostly for the personal saftey of fellow black friday-ers and their/your husbands. 

that story was just to entertain you but lets celebrate this holiday season right. Christ came to die for us. set us free from our sin. He came as a gift, to give us a gift, so that we could share that gift with others. after all Christmas is named after Him. i love the holidays!! especially Christmas! part dos will be up next! get ready!!! maybe it'll be even better than part one! maybe-no promises.


10 things to get done this CHRISTMAS season

1) get the peppermint mocha twist from starbucks *it's scrumptious
2) watch the movie transporter 3 *INCREDIBLE!
3) don't procrastinate on your shopping *the only exception is myself
4) get an advent calendar and do it with your fam if you don't already *kids love em!
5) listen to all the barry manilow christmas you can get!
6) send me christmas cookies *i like the sugar cookies w/ glossy frosting--jk..but really if you want to i wouldn't mind
7) play board games *especially 80's trivial persuit
8) watch the grinch, frosty the snow man, rudolph, and charlie brown christmas *i love charlie brown
9) go get yourself a tree *charlie brown did
10) try to count how many different versions of oh holy night there are * there are tons! 

KEEP THE SON IN YOUR EYES

Hebrews 4:14-16
"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and ifnd grace to help us in our time of need. "

2 comments:

  1. dearest joey,
    a couple of things.
    1. you make me laugh really, really hard.
    2. you encourage me to pursue Christ.
    3. you are of inspiration.
    4. can't wait to see you!
    love,
    b.

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  2. Joey,
    I had the peppermint mocha twist YESTERDAY! delicious.
    I OWN Charlie Brown Christmas AND 80's trivial pursuit.
    Your mom can make you cookies...and when you move to S.C. I need your address.
    Merry Merry!

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