"I've covered every bit of it"

So I have been really convicted these past couple of weeks and it definately showed this Thursday night. I feel that I have been very stagnant in my walk...I know we all have been there but the problem was that I "didn't feel like doing anything about it at the time." Basically I was saying I'll do this on my own time (not even thinking that I might not have time) and shoving God off to the side. I didn't have time...I had just moved to South Carolina for school, I was trying to get in a routine for classes and such, I had to meet people, I had to do this, I had to do that and I wasn't even remotely thinking that I was leaving something out..GOD!!! I got so caught up in "my life" that I had no desire to work on my spiritual walk with the God that had given me a life in the first place. He had loved me so much that He personally came down to earth and sacrificed himself for my life. My sin forged the nails that pinned Him to a splintered, dirty, rugged cross and this was the God that I was pushing to the side to make room for me.

Well Thursday my friend invited me to go to BSU with her and so I did. I wasn't sure what to expect, infact I wasn't even sure what BSU was...I'm not the best with acronyms and I just didn't know what it was. There was music and a "sermon" except it wasn't really a sermon because it was on a more intimate level. Well towards the end of the music, someone who I had no clue who they were, sang a song that boy did I know...and not only did I know it, I had used it in a worship service before. It was called 'At the Cross' and the minute I heard it start I knew exactly what it was and my heart just sank and then ended up in my throat (which I SOO don't know how that happened because sinking and going up in my throat are two different directions but it happened...it was just that feeling of conviction) when this person started singing the words...

Oh Lord You've searched me

You know my way

Even when I fail You

I know you love me

Your holy presence

Surrounding me

In every season

I know You love me

I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee

Where Your blood was shed for me

There's no greater love than this

You have overcome the grave

Your glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now

You go before me

You shield my way

Your hand upholds me

I know you love me

You tore the veil

You made a way

When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades

Falls from my eyes

And You stand before me

I know You love me

I know You love me

...at that moment I was so convicted about how I had been putting God off, basically sayin' shove off I got this covered, when in reality I was nothing without Him in my life. He sacrificed for me, His passion was so great not just in His love for me but in His suffering and I put Him on the backburner. I just basically broke down at that point and started to cry...there was nothing else I think my body was able to do...I realized I was snubbing God for me...it's kinda hard for me to type this right now cause my eyes are getting blurred thinking about it, but God put it on my heart to tell yall..I don't know why, maybe one of you is struggling with this too.

The thing that got me most about this song is that at the end of every phrase it says "I know You love me." Through all of that God still loved me! Through my being a butt-face and arrogant kid (the kind that maybe makes you want to punt something) God's love for me didn't change. The creator of the universe chose to love a small insignificant thing called Joey and that is so overwhelming. A chapel speaker said this week "God only stooped twice in the whole Bible...once when He humbled himself to become man, but the only other time he stooped down was to breathe the breath of life into man." That's so humbling, that God was so intimate and personal in giving me life, and yet so many times I fail and stumble and run the total opposite direction and when I can't run anymore and I turn around to look at the mess I've made He's standing there with open arms saying "I've covered every bit of it." His love cover's a multitude of sins and His heart of forgiveness is overflowing. I could go on and on and on and on and on and on but I think you should go listen to the song..I have it the title of the song linked so all you got to do is click. Can you think of any better place to be than in His arms? I can't.